Seasons change.

The changing of the seasons always has an effect on me. For some reason, I feel the changes most acutely when winter turns to spring and summer turns to fall. These transitions seem so much grander to me than the quick shift from autumn to winter or the transition from mild spring to the dreary, foggy San Francisco summer.

These days, I’m so aware of the changes my life is going through. My creative needs are shifting. I’m ready for a change in my artistic life. I love the work I’ve done; however, I know there are so many places I can still take it.

So I’m exploring – focusing less on doing than on being. Worrying less about creating a marketable product than about making authentic art. Re-learning how to play, how to have fun, how to accept whatever flows out of me. I’m focusing less on the end product right now and more on the process.

It’s really hard work. I was the kid who planned and saved and made lists. I’ve spent most of my adult life focused on goals. And yet I want to wander – seemingly aimlessly – until I happen upon a path that feels right. I want to enjoy the wilderness of my creativity, cultivating it only enough to make it work with me, and leaving it feral enough that it surprises me every once in a while.

Fall, to me, is a wild season. Californian leaves may not turn colors, but we have Indian Summers and forest fires and “earthquake weather.” Everything is a little unhinged and very transitory. It’s a good time to make a change.

I’m not completely sure what this change will be. But it must be, and it will be exciting and scary. I’m ready for it.